Let’s talk about sex baby…
Today’s show is not PG rated! Put your headset in and get comfy because we’re talking about all things pleasure, sex and deep intimacy with Monica Day!
Monica Day is obsessed with the areas of life that invite us to admit our deepest desires, stir our greatest passions, and face our most potent fears. As both a writer/performer and a coach/facilitator, she addresses the areas of race, gender, class, power, and sexuality in myriad ways. Ultimately, she sees these critical issues as holding the key to both our individual and collective freedom.
In this new episode, I speak with author and coach Monica Day.
Monica has been actively guiding individuals and groups into the depths of their relationship with both each other and their intimate desires. I call Monica a ‘sex-pert’ in the show, but Monica is much more than a well-versed guide to pleasure in the physical sense. She uses the deeper realms of intimacy and turn-on to help people heal from shame, trust issues and transform much more than meets the eye.
Today we dive into Monica’s new book called “Play Wide, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving and Receiving.” This timely guide addresses the importance of rising above sexual shame and gender stereotypes about sexual pleasure and indulging in safe and consensual intimate exploration.
Monica Day offers tangible methods to take the embarrassment out of the communication of personal desires and the importance of using polar opposites in your relationship to spark hot sexual energy.
Tell us what your thoughts are on the show notes or comments below!
  • Giovanna welcomes Monica to the podcast
  • Monica defines sex as foundational to all of our lives, not relegated to the bedroom
    • Doesn’t consider herself a sex coach or “sexpert”
  • Monica’s “Sex Rises Story”: Monica’s feelings of once feeling unfulfilled: her own business, family breadwinner, raising two kids, putting ex-husband through school
  • Writing erotic poetry after marital separation and depression
  • Monica will have future book about personal coming-of-age sexual desires
  • Monica lost her virginity against her will
  • Sexual and body shame getting in the way of sexual exploration
  • People not being taught the difference between sexual acts and sexual energy
  • Predatory sex
  • Shared ways to express sexual desires as individuals and in relationships
  • Breaking free of societal taboos about sex that create shame
  • Intersection between race and sex
  • Sexual habits and desires leading to self-judgement and fear
  • Performance-based language about sex
    • Distinction between sensation-based language and judgement-based language
  • Popularity of “50 Shades of Grey” and the romance novel industry
  • “Erotic Self” and a “Domestic Self”
  • Communicating sexual curiosities
  • Monica’s advice to remedy a couple’s lack of sexual communication: Slowing down, being playful and curious, taking goal-orientated sex results out of the picture
  • Repression even in a highly sexualized society
  • Monica advising a company how to change their sexualized approach to using desire in advertising
  • The problem with pornography getting in the way of intimacy
  • Where our sexual organs are in our body is where our creativity and life force energy resides, a lot of our shames lives there as well
  • Women shutting down their sexual interests to avoid shame
  • Mastering the powerful fuel of sexual energy
  • “Solo Practice” to explore your own body to learn personal desires
    • Communication to feel full desire
  • Masculine and feminine energy in sexual tension
  • Important polarities to create desire: Leading and Following, Dominance and Submission, Fantasy and Reality
  • Giovanna talks about “The Little Death” an Australian movie about a wife sharing her rape fantasy with her husband
  • “The Primal and the Sacred” as a range for sexual desire
  • Start something new in your relationship before it dies

3 Key Points:

  1. Sexual repression and taboos.
  2. The differences between your “erotic self” and your “domestic” self.
  3.  Use polar opposites like Leading and Following, Dominance and Submission, Fantasy and Reality, and Primal and Sacred to explore sexual desires.

Tweetable Quotes:

-“There is sex the act, and there is sex the energy.” – Monica Day requoting Giovanna Capozza.

-“Am I normal?” – Monica Day

-“When curiosity is politically inconvenient.” – Monica Day.

-“We are saturated with sex, and yet we are starving.” – Monica Day.

–  “Your sex walks in the door 20 minutes before you, and it doesn’t leave until an hour after you’ve left the room.” – Monica Day

–  “The best leader is one who takes you to the place of your deepest desire. And the best follower is the one who is willing to go there.“ – Monica Day

Resources Mentioned:


She Rises Podcast by Giovanna Capozza Monica Day
Let's Talk About Pleasure
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