- Giovanna welcomes Monica to the podcast
- Monica defines sex as foundational to all of our lives, not relegated to the bedroom
- Doesn’t consider herself a sex coach or “sexpert”
- Monica’s “Sex Rises Story”: Monica’s feelings of once feeling unfulfilled: her own business, family breadwinner, raising two kids, putting ex-husband through school
- Writing erotic poetry after marital separation and depression
- Monica will have future book about personal coming-of-age sexual desires
- Monica lost her virginity against her will
- Sexual and body shame getting in the way of sexual exploration
- People not being taught the difference between sexual acts and sexual energy
- Predatory sex
- Shared ways to express sexual desires as individuals and in relationships
- Breaking free of societal taboos about sex that create shame
- Intersection between race and sex
- Sexual habits and desires leading to self-judgement and fear
- Performance-based language about sex
- Distinction between sensation-based language and judgement-based language
- Popularity of “50 Shades of Grey” and the romance novel industry
- “Erotic Self” and a “Domestic Self”
- Communicating sexual curiosities
- Monica’s advice to remedy a couple’s lack of sexual communication: Slowing down, being playful and curious, taking goal-orientated sex results out of the picture
- Repression even in a highly sexualized society
- Monica advising a company how to change their sexualized approach to using desire in advertising
- The problem with pornography getting in the way of intimacy
- Where our sexual organs are in our body is where our creativity and life force energy resides, a lot of our shames lives there as well
- Women shutting down their sexual interests to avoid shame
- Mastering the powerful fuel of sexual energy
- “Solo Practice” to explore your own body to learn personal desires
- Communication to feel full desire
- Masculine and feminine energy in sexual tension
- Important polarities to create desire: Leading and Following, Dominance and Submission, Fantasy and Reality
- Giovanna talks about “The Little Death” an Australian movie about a wife sharing her rape fantasy with her husband
- “The Primal and the Sacred” as a range for sexual desire
- Start something new in your relationship before it dies
3 Key Points:
- Sexual repression and taboos.
- The differences between your “erotic self” and your “domestic” self.
- Use polar opposites like Leading and Following, Dominance and Submission, Fantasy and Reality, and Primal and Sacred to explore sexual desires.
-“There is sex the act, and there is sex the energy.” – Monica Day requoting Giovanna Capozza.
-“Am I normal?” – Monica Day
-“When curiosity is politically inconvenient.” – Monica Day.
-“We are saturated with sex, and yet we are starving.” – Monica Day.
– “Your sex walks in the door 20 minutes before you, and it doesn’t leave until an hour after you’ve left the room.” – Monica Day
– “The best leader is one who takes you to the place of your deepest desire. And the best follower is the one who is willing to go there.“ – Monica Day
- “Wild Geese”– Poem by Mary Oliver
- “Play Wild, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving and Receiving”– Book by Monica Day
- “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” – Book by Ester Perel
- http://monicaday.com – Monica Day’s website
- “The Little Death” – Movie about sexual fantasy