Life is always sending us information. We’re constantly bombarded with messages, but we tend to resist them, especially when they aren’t convenient for us or for the agenda we want for our life. Maybe we know the guy is a bad idea but we date him anyway, or we feel a client or employer isn’t exactly the right fit, but we work with them anyway. Usually, it ends badly. We all do this and we can be kind to ourselves about it, but we can also notice that the universe is constantly presenting us with information and if we choose to let go of the resistance, we can listen.
Why do we resist the messages in the first place? I believe there are 4 main reasons:
- We don’t trust the messages. Usually, we don’t trust what we receive because we’re unfamiliar with where it comes from—with the voice itself or with the source of the message. We haven’t cultivated a relationship with this Source and so why should we trust it? Think about it this way, if some random person walks up to you on the street trying to tell you something, you’re going to look at them like they’re crazy right? But if your friend turns around and gives you the same message or piece of advice, you listen, because it’s more trustworthy. Make sense? So this is about recognizing that life, Source, God, the Universe (whatever you want to call it) is always speaking to us and we need to develop a relationship with it in order to really listen and learn to trust it’s guidance.
- Our ego voice is loud and powerful. Our ego is not there to harm us, in fact, it tends to think it’s protecting us. A Course in Miracles says “ego speaks loudest and speaks first,” so often we’ll ignore the whispering voice in favour of the loud voice and if we don’t learn to differentiate the voice of ego and spirit, it’s impossible to get the message.
- We don’t like what it says. It’s sometimes an inconvenient truth, and often we just don’t want to hear it. The message is rarely comfortable and in this instance, we usually consciously choose not to listen to it, ignoring it for what seems easier or more familiar.
- It’s going to require us to stretch, change and grow. Whatever the message is asking of us, it’s going to require us to stretch, change and grow. Maybe it means we’ll need to let go of people, or embrace uncomfortable new situations. But one thing is for sure, it’s going to ask us to do the hard thing. Human beings tend to change only when the way they have been has become too uncomfortable and they have no choice but to change. But there is a better way! Life is always whispering at us, and we don’t have to wait until it’s screaming and our world is crumbling in order to listen.
We think there’s a huge cost associated with listening to the whisper. We think if we listen to what the whisper is saying something dramatic has to happen NOW! But we have it backwards. What we fail to see in the moment is that there’s an even bigger cost associated with not listening to the message.
So how do we know if we’re resisting messages if we’re not hearing the voice?
The main symptom of resistance is recycling or repeating the same patterns. This can be broken down into three main categories: relationships, business, and health.
Relationships: Think both romantic and friendships. Maybe you keep dating the same guy, even though he looks different. Same issues with emotional unavailability or feeling unsupported somehow. Maybe you keep having the same arguments in your relationships? Or you’re attracting the same kinds of friendships that are one-sided or unfulfilling. Whatever the case, if you can look over the course of the last few years and see a similar pattern in your relationships chances are you’re missing the bigger picture focus.
Business/Finance: Do you struggle with the same financial issues, or have the same worries, fears or concerns about your finances and how to keep things afloat? Does it seem that you get yourself into the same financial messes over and over? Do you keep repeating patterns with the jobs you’re going after or feeling unhappy and unfulfilled with your career repeatedly? Are you bumping up against same spots in your professional lifetime and time again?
Health: Are you recycling different mental scenarios or negative self-talk? Do you have constant struggles with weight, colds or other chronic ailments like IBS or pains? Are you starting to feel like things are becoming familiar and that life has lost its luster for you? Do you feel bored and uninspired more than you’d like?
When you find these patterns coming up, it’s time to slow down and ask yourself this: “If I’m the common denominator in all these scenarios then what is the message I keep missing or I’m avoiding resisting?” Just acknowledging that will create an opening to receive the answer!
Maybe these uncomfortable truths are at some of the core of these repeated patterns for you:
- I’m afraid I’m not living up to my highest potential
- I’m living an unlived life—I feel like I’m settling for things and I could be doing better
- I keep dimming my light to find love or to keep love because I’m afraid to be alone
- This is not the right person, job, friend or lover for me and I’m afraid to voice how I feel
- What if I never get it right? What if I make a mistake and make the wrong decision?
How to access your inner knowing and get to the message behind the mess?
Dialogue Journaling: Sit down with your journal and dialogue with two characters. One charter is you the other is you, as a small child. You write down “hey, how are you today? How are you feeling?” And then you pause and imagine your little self, and something will come up. It’s one of those practices that’s awkward before it’s elegant. But listen for what needs to be said, and write it down. Then ask, “what do you need? What would make you happy right now? What can I do for you?” And continue the dialogue organically, asking questions like you would ask a friend or a small child.
Talk to an objective friend: It’s really important you have that friend who can tell you the truth. It’s a person who will call you out on your shit. They are strong enough in themselves and in your friendship that they can tell you the truth.
Work with a coach: Obviously I’m biased here, but do some deeper exploration of yourself one on one or with group coaching. A coach will hold you to your highest potential and highest standard, and they will see you in all your brilliance. They will also point the way to your shadow, to the blind spot that you’re not noticing so that you’re constantly moving towards your next becoming.
If we are resisting messages in our life, it usually shows up with us constantly repeating the same patterns and struggling with the same things in relationships, business/work, and in our health. Sometimes, the thing that’s constantly not happening is also the repeated pattern. The messages are always there to help us, but we have to be open to receiving them. If we are and we listen, we can make life simpler, more in flow and more joyful.