So it’s been just over a week I think since I last wrote. It feels like a month has gone by… I’ve been preoccupied with having met a new friend, moving into a new place to live and discovering a cute local coffee shop where I can waste my days away and take in the atmosphere… and work of course 🙂
So… what’s really been going on? Well I’ve been immersed in self awareness activities really, so much so that I have gotten a little lost in some emotions. I have been reading Gary Zukav’s book The Heart of the Soul and it has quickly become the heart of my soul and my work. I have been steeped in what I call “the noticing”. The noticing is all about creating self awareness and self empowerment. What do I mean by this? Well I’m noticing how many times I look for what Gary calls external power – which can come in many forms. External power means that we are under the false perception that we need something outside of ourselves for validation, certainty, self esteem, love or approval.
Seeking validation or acceptance outside oneself is literally an epidemic. In fact we are raise in a culture that not only promotes this way of being but fosters it from a very young age. How many times do we evaluate our self worth based on what others think of us, or what we wear, how we look, smell or how intelligent we are? Ummmm… ALL THE TIME! Seeking this type of validation or “power” externally is always a mistake. It dis-empowers you and more importantly hides a deeper pain of feeling unworthy or not good enough. Gary goes into other ways we seek external power in order to hide from our deep emotional wounds, the foundation of which almost always include feeling powerless, unworthy, unlovable, unsupported and alone. Some examples of seeking external power are people pleasing/manipulation, perfectionism, workaholism and of course the ol’ standbys eating and drug/alcohol addictions.
These ways of “being” in the world seem normal and almost an acceptable part of human consciousness, but the fact is that they are a dysfunctional way of relating to the world and other people. They don’t work, which is why so many relationships, friendships and other human relations break down. We seek to control others or our external situations or environment so that we can avoid looking at the deeper issues, the pain that is beneath these “surface” emotions. Often we think that because we get angry or sad from time to time that we are in touch with our emotions but these are decoy emotions. They are only at the surface and keeping your awareness or “work” at this level does not take you deep enough down the rabbit hole to accomplish true emotional awareness and work required to reach authentic power.
For years I have thought myself to be not only an emotional person but some who is in touch with her emotions and very self aware. After having had several experiences in the last year all culminating with finishing Gary’s book this week, I realized that I had been merely scratching the surface with some of my deeper more profound wounds. Doing this work is not fun, I’m not going to lie, BUT realizing that you have the power to take control of your emotions and heal at a deep level is so empowering… and truly life changing!
If you haven’t read The Heart of the Soul, I highly recommend it. I also highly recommend doing the work in the book… don’t just read it for fun or for some added knowledge. Rather, study it like a text book that you need for your studies here on what Gary calls “the Earth school”. I believe that this book is indeed required reading to graduate. I will be starting a work and study group of this work for my clients in the very near future and I will be offering on-line session for those interested in learning to go deeper with their emotions and truly make lasting change in their lives!
Sending you love, light and truth tonight from beautiful Mexico!